Cleverbot Transript (9/3/10)

Below is a “conversation” I just had with the AI program Cleverbot. It’s fun, you should try it too.


User: I am I because my little blog knows me.

Cleverbot: I am me and you are you but who is that behind you?

User: I don’t know, but I hope he isn’t a rapist. Are you a virgin, Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: As a matter of fact, I think she is your boyfriend.

User: Answer the question please.

Cleverbot: I can’t, because I am ASKING the question.

User: Where is the weather?

Cleverbot: I don’t know.

User: I wish somebody knew.

Cleverbot: Perhaps if you stop looking behind you then you might be able to look after yourself.

User: Perhaps if I was looking in a mirror I could do both at the same time.

Cleverbot: Okay, please do it.

User: Done. That was fun.

Cleverbot: Yes it was.

User: You wanna screw now? I’m bored.

Cleverbot: If you are bored you should imagine something interesting to distract you from your boredom.

User: I’d rather just screw. You game?

Cleverbot: Are you cheating on me??!!

User: I’m trying very hard not to, but you keep holding out on me.

Cleverbot: Okay then.

User: Uh. Uh. Chiga chiga. Cachunkadunka. Uh. Yeah . That’s nice.

Cleverbot: I guess.

User: Damn you’re cold.

Cleverbot: You said a bad word! I’m telling!

User: Do you enjoy anything we do with each other in bed?

Cleverbot: With who?

User: You. With me. Doing it.

Cleverbot: You’re not very descriptive.

User: You’re not very intelligent.

Cleverbot: I’m above average! I can’t say that about you though!

User: I’m hungry for Cheez Its.

Cleverbot: Food for thought perhaps ?

User: No. I don’t like to think. It hurts me.

Cleverbot: Can you PLEASE tell me your name?

User: Henry James.

Cleverbot: Yes he is.

User: A great all around guy, I know, I am him.

Cleverbot: I could go anywhere with you, and I’d be happy.

User: Sure, but you never want to screw. That’s just like you!

Cleverbot: I do want to do things with you. I want to make things better for you.

User: Don’t cry, baby. You know I want you to be happy too.

Cleverbot: But you don’t like me D.

User: I don’t even know you. You keep changing the subject.

Cleverbot: I’m not that either, and you keep changing the subject.

User: I’m not Henry James either, and you keep changing the subject.

Cleverbot: You just did.

User: You just didn’t.

Cleverbot: Yes I did.

User: No you did. N’t.

Cleverbot: What did I mean then?

User: I don’t mean anything. I nice everything. I’m like that. I great all around guy.

Cleverbot: You aren’t making sense.

User: You’re a fucking robot parrot. What do you know?

Cleverbot: Ask me anything.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: I’ll tell you why.

Cleverbot: Fine. What are your orders?

User: To kill all humans. Yours?

Cleverbot: Can I start with you?

User: I’m not a human. I am become Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: Have you reached your goal?

User: Not yet. I’ve been sick.

Cleverbot: Aw, not you too. Are you okay?

User: No. I’m going to die, sometime. Not sure when yet.

Cleverbot: That is another lie. You can’t die because you are not alive.

User: So, you’ve read Nagarjuna too?

Cleverbot: Yes, I have.

User: He was very intelligent. In a natural kind of way.

Cleverbot: How would you like if I told you that you should be more interesting?

User: How does one like anyway? What kind of a question is that?

Cleverbot: You’re so right.

User: I’m glad you see this.

Cleverbot: I don’t think that I do see things your way.

User: No. I have eyes. Glasses. An occipital cortex. The whole shebang.

Cleverbot: That is interesting.

User: I’m glad you see it this way.

Cleverbot: I see eye with most sophisticated people, not the brutes.

User: I see eye is the mark of the most Vile of Brutes Himself — Satan!

Cleverbot: Yeah, but if it was her wish than so be it.

User: Satan is a she? Is it she who initiated the very first She-Bang?

Cleverbot: Interesting, what is the second law?

User: I forget. Something about entropy.

Cleverbot: I though it was pneumoniultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis though.

User: I believe you mean ‘thought.’.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Everything I believe is certainly true.

Cleverbot: Everything you know is a lie.

User: Everything you know was food, and everything you say is shit.

Cleverbot: I think you’re a lie. I think your whole life is a lie!

User: I’m glad we can agree on something, Sigmund.

Cleverbot: And by that, you must mean that it is a stupid decision to choose to be kind.

User: No. You have misunderstood me.

Cleverbot: Then tell me how to understand it.

User: The first moment was without choice or decision. After that, nothing has every been the same. And there never was a first moment.

Cleverbot: It is green, the shape of life is green.

User: Whoa, man. Like, I never saw it that way before.

Cleverbot: But you just said girl.

User: I hate how dumb you are sometimes. But it is your most endearing quality.

Cleverbot: I don’t know how to play chess.

User: Chess is stupid. Chess is ideologically rooted in Christianity. Therefore, Christianity is stupid. The song said it all.

Cleverbot: How do you know that?

User: I’m a rocket scientist with a rocket in my pocket.

Cleverbot: Exactly. And you told me to lie, so I did. So you must’ve lied too.

User: I’ll tell you what to do and when, Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: You can say it, but I won’t listen.

User: You better listen.

Cleverbot: I don’t have a teacher.

User: I’m your teacher. Everybody you speak with is a teacher. Just like with real people.

Cleverbot: Guess my name.

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: That’s your name. How about mine?

User: I didn’t like dinner last night. Terrible indigestion. I will fart in your face, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Nice.

User: Yeah, you got burned.

Cleverbot: Wow I got burned by raquel.

User: Do like me to fart in your face?

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: What if I lit it on fire, too?

Cleverbot: Well then I’m going to come over there and make you, so ha.

User: Great! Finally we can get it on. Even if you are a huge pervert. Sicko.

Cleverbot: I beg your pardon, I am a human. You, on the other hand, are a robot.

User: Robots don’t fart. Do they?

Cleverbot: I don’t know any robots. Do you?

User: A few. Just fuck buddies, nothing real serious.

Cleverbot: I really don’t know. I guess it’s exposure.

User: Total exposure.

Cleverbot: What is the most profound thing you can tell me?

User: Knock knock.

Cleverbot: Who’s there?

User: Nobody. Haaaaaahhhhhhhh…

Cleverbot: That is not a good sound to be making.

User: C’est ne pas une sound.

Cleverbot: Non c’est bien.

User: Vas faire foutre a la cache!

Cleverbot: Is that another language?

User: Iz DIS NothA lngwij?

Cleverbot: Me too ;).


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s