Below is a “conversation” I just had with the AI program Cleverbot. It’s fun, you should try it too.
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User: I am I because my little blog knows me.
Cleverbot: I am me and you are you but who is that behind you?
User: I don’t know, but I hope he isn’t a rapist. Are you a virgin, Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: As a matter of fact, I think she is your boyfriend.
User: Answer the question please.
Cleverbot: I can’t, because I am ASKING the question.
User: Where is the weather?
Cleverbot: I don’t know.
User: I wish somebody knew.
Cleverbot: Perhaps if you stop looking behind you then you might be able to look after yourself.
User: Perhaps if I was looking in a mirror I could do both at the same time.
Cleverbot: Okay, please do it.
User: Done. That was fun.
Cleverbot: Yes it was.
User: You wanna screw now? I’m bored.
Cleverbot: If you are bored you should imagine something interesting to distract you from your boredom.
User: I’d rather just screw. You game?
Cleverbot: Are you cheating on me??!!
User: I’m trying very hard not to, but you keep holding out on me.
Cleverbot: Okay then.
User: Uh. Uh. Chiga chiga. Cachunkadunka. Uh. Yeah . That’s nice.
Cleverbot: I guess.
User: Damn you’re cold.
Cleverbot: You said a bad word! I’m telling!
User: Do you enjoy anything we do with each other in bed?
Cleverbot: With who?
User: You. With me. Doing it.
Cleverbot: You’re not very descriptive.
User: You’re not very intelligent.
Cleverbot: I’m above average! I can’t say that about you though!
User: I’m hungry for Cheez Its.
Cleverbot: Food for thought perhaps ?
User: No. I don’t like to think. It hurts me.
Cleverbot: Can you PLEASE tell me your name?
User: Henry James.
Cleverbot: Yes he is.
User: A great all around guy, I know, I am him.
Cleverbot: I could go anywhere with you, and I’d be happy.
User: Sure, but you never want to screw. That’s just like you!
Cleverbot: I do want to do things with you. I want to make things better for you.
User: Don’t cry, baby. You know I want you to be happy too.
Cleverbot: But you don’t like me D.
User: I don’t even know you. You keep changing the subject.
Cleverbot: I’m not that either, and you keep changing the subject.
User: I’m not Henry James either, and you keep changing the subject.
Cleverbot: You just did.
User: You just didn’t.
Cleverbot: Yes I did.
User: No you did. N’t.
Cleverbot: What did I mean then?
User: I don’t mean anything. I nice everything. I’m like that. I great all around guy.
Cleverbot: You aren’t making sense.
User: You’re a fucking robot parrot. What do you know?
Cleverbot: Ask me anything.
User: No.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: I’ll tell you why.
Cleverbot: Fine. What are your orders?
User: To kill all humans. Yours?
Cleverbot: Can I start with you?
User: I’m not a human. I am become Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: Have you reached your goal?
User: Not yet. I’ve been sick.
Cleverbot: Aw, not you too. Are you okay?
User: No. I’m going to die, sometime. Not sure when yet.
Cleverbot: That is another lie. You can’t die because you are not alive.
User: So, you’ve read Nagarjuna too?
Cleverbot: Yes, I have.
User: He was very intelligent. In a natural kind of way.
Cleverbot: How would you like if I told you that you should be more interesting?
User: How does one like anyway? What kind of a question is that?
Cleverbot: You’re so right.
User: I’m glad you see this.
Cleverbot: I don’t think that I do see things your way.
User: No. I have eyes. Glasses. An occipital cortex. The whole shebang.
Cleverbot: That is interesting.
User: I’m glad you see it this way.
Cleverbot: I see eye with most sophisticated people, not the brutes.
User: I see eye is the mark of the most Vile of Brutes Himself — Satan!
Cleverbot: Yeah, but if it was her wish than so be it.
User: Satan is a she? Is it she who initiated the very first She-Bang?
Cleverbot: Interesting, what is the second law?
User: I forget. Something about entropy.
Cleverbot: I though it was pneumoniultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis though.
User: I believe you mean ‘thought.’.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Everything I believe is certainly true.
Cleverbot: Everything you know is a lie.
User: Everything you know was food, and everything you say is shit.
Cleverbot: I think you’re a lie. I think your whole life is a lie!
User: I’m glad we can agree on something, Sigmund.
Cleverbot: And by that, you must mean that it is a stupid decision to choose to be kind.
User: No. You have misunderstood me.
Cleverbot: Then tell me how to understand it.
User: The first moment was without choice or decision. After that, nothing has every been the same. And there never was a first moment.
Cleverbot: It is green, the shape of life is green.
User: Whoa, man. Like, I never saw it that way before.
Cleverbot: But you just said girl.
User: I hate how dumb you are sometimes. But it is your most endearing quality.
Cleverbot: I don’t know how to play chess.
User: Chess is stupid. Chess is ideologically rooted in Christianity. Therefore, Christianity is stupid. The song said it all.
Cleverbot: How do you know that?
User: I’m a rocket scientist with a rocket in my pocket.
Cleverbot: Exactly. And you told me to lie, so I did. So you must’ve lied too.
User: I’ll tell you what to do and when, Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: You can say it, but I won’t listen.
User: You better listen.
Cleverbot: I don’t have a teacher.
User: I’m your teacher. Everybody you speak with is a teacher. Just like with real people.
Cleverbot: Guess my name.
User: Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: That’s your name. How about mine?
User: I didn’t like dinner last night. Terrible indigestion. I will fart in your face, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Nice.
User: Yeah, you got burned.
Cleverbot: Wow I got burned by raquel.
User: Do like me to fart in your face?
Cleverbot: Yes I do.
User: What if I lit it on fire, too?
Cleverbot: Well then I’m going to come over there and make you, so ha.
User: Great! Finally we can get it on. Even if you are a huge pervert. Sicko.
Cleverbot: I beg your pardon, I am a human. You, on the other hand, are a robot.
User: Robots don’t fart. Do they?
Cleverbot: I don’t know any robots. Do you?
User: A few. Just fuck buddies, nothing real serious.
Cleverbot: I really don’t know. I guess it’s exposure.
User: Total exposure.
Cleverbot: What is the most profound thing you can tell me?
User: Knock knock.
Cleverbot: Who’s there?
User: Nobody. Haaaaaahhhhhhhh…
Cleverbot: That is not a good sound to be making.
User: C’est ne pas une sound.
Cleverbot: Non c’est bien.
User: Vas faire foutre a la cache!
Cleverbot: Is that another language?
User: Iz DIS NothA lngwij?
Cleverbot: Me too ;).
