!poi4':;!poe'!';;!mbassy::!oip3'::

Gnoetry Daily Volume 1 is Out!

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 23:17:11 +0000

That’s right. A selection of the best of Gnoetry Daily from the past couple of years, chosen by the authors for your pleasure and edification.

Read it! It’s free and it’s wonderful!

GNOETRY DAILY VOLUME 1

Filed under: Uncategorized

Support the Occupation of Wall Street!

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 14:53:12 +0000

OCCUPY WALL STREET

Don’t listen to the ridiculous distortions or the simply lame reporting of the protests that you hear on corporate owned media, PBS/NPR and the BBC. There are thousands of very articulate people in these protests, and their various demands are serious. Watch Democracy Now!‘s coverage. All the anger about Wall Street, capitalism, the wealth gap, unemployment, the scam that is health insurance, the corporate ownership of politics and media, student loan debt and the cost of education, etc. etc., that came out of me for the past two years in 6x6x6 seems to be verified now in all of these people taking a stand. I thought that people weren’t ever going to start up anything. Whatever city you are in, support this thing. I’ll be in Pittsburgh this weekend and I’ll find the protest there.

Here’s a prayer:

May the American People arise
Where they have not arisen;
And where they have arisen, may they not disperse,
But increase further and further.

Filed under: Economy, Personal, Political

New Article up on 9/11 Poetry: Beyond Grief and Grievance by Philip Metres

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 01:18:02 +0000

You may have noticed that I’ve been obsessed with 9/11 recently. So much disturbs me still about it, especially as the anniversary comes and goes each year: how it forced such a negative sea change in international politics (or was manipulated to that end) as well as a return to a McCarthy era-like culture of fear and self-censorship. Also disturbing is how so much of the evidence from the attacks was literally carted away and destroyed before any serious and thorough investigation could be conducted. The spectre of Virtuality haunts the entire spectacle, regardless of the particular narrative ascribed to the events to make them more real and, as would be expected, more terrifying with each detail. This goes for every theory of events I’ve read or listened to. The fact that we will never know everything, regardless of how often the standard narrative is reinforced or how many times you watch Loose Change, is perhaps the most disturbing thing.

Anyways, I’ve been reading a watching just about everything of any value that I can find about 9/11 and the response to it. I was looking through the Articles section at Poetry Foundation today and found this excellent reflective essay on the issue:

Beyond Grief and Grievance: The poetry of 9/11 and its aftermath by Philip Metres

It very thoughtfully examines a number of poems which responded to 9/11, providing a thorough summary of the 9/11 poetry phenomenon. I especially appreciated it’s treatment of Baraka’s “Somebody Blew Up America,” which I agree was a very important poem that few were willing to listen to. For me, it’s most important point was to emphasize the fact that there has never been a unified America, that the 9/11 attacks did not bring us all together, and to say so is to whitewash the violent and divisive history of America, both in its past and its present. Metres essay gives it a fair reading and treats it’s message with the respect it deserves.

Filed under: Poetry, Political

9/11 Culture of Commemoration Moment no. 1

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 18:42:18 +0000

This makes me want to throw up. As CNBC often does.

Capitalism Survives 9/11 (FRI 09 SEPT 11)

Filed under: News / Editorial, Political

‘Genius’ and the MacArthur Grants

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 15:21:38 +0000

“When people are doing something that’s really innovative, it’s not recognised for a long time,” says former fellow Richard A Muller, a senior scientist at the Lawrence Berkeley laboratory and professor of physics at the University of California, Berkeley. “Most people think you’re just wasting your time.” (BBC, “Is ‘genius’ a dirty word?“)

Filed under: News / Editorial, Thoughts

Occupy Wall Street

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 17:44:57 +0000

This makes me happy:

Thank you, Adbusters!

Filed under: Uncategorized

The Bleed 0.1 Is Up and Out in Print

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 02:51:10 +0000

The first issue of the only journal I know currently devoted to Vispo (and really good vispo at that) is now up. The range of different types of visual poetry presented there is truly stunning. You can purchase or view it online via the links below (I love issuu!).

Oh, and I’m in it, too. Pages 73-78.

Enjoy!

][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][

Available in print and digital edition through MagCloud.

Avantexte – The Bleed 0.1 (or direct link to issue @ issuu)

Filed under: Digital Arts, Poetry, Publication

]] is up at Gnoetry Daily

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 00:41:12 +0000

Over the past two weeks, I have been working on a chapbook of poems (or maybe poetic compositions would be more accurate) which deal with my feelings and thoughts about September 11th, 2001 on this tenth anniversary in a way that I hope is both artful and tasteful.

I’ve written an introduction and posted the three (somewhat incomplete) parts of the chapbook up at Gnoetry Daily over the past three days under my alter ego username eRoGK7, so I’ll stop introducing the thing here. Know that there will be more of the Gnoetry section (Part 2) going up for a while still.

I hope you enjoy it, and that it makes you think about and reflect upon various important things.

All Posts for ]] and Other 9/11 Works

Filed under: Gnoetry, Personal, Poetry, Political, Publication

Watching Art21 on Hulu and Thinking about Writing

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 03:26:14 +0000

I’ve started to watch episodes of Art21 on Hulu Plus now through my PS3. Seems you can watch all of the episodes on the PBS Art21 website. I’ve always been fascinated with all kinds of art: music, visual art, literature, dance, film. I’ve also liked to listen to interviews with artists, which I often find much more stimulating than interviews with writers. They usually seem so much more passionate, intense, and wrapped up in what they’re talking about, what they’re working on. It’s this mentality I would like to bring to my poetry, to my projects and what I am doing with language. Some of my favorite poets sound more like abstract visual artists describing a display than writers talking about a poem or the situation that it arose from. Writers like Jackson Mac Low, bpNichol, Gertrude Stein, Leslie Scalapino and Christian Bök that continue to engage my curiosity and respect after repeat engagements with their work and thought. It is not really so much an idea of an avant garde that I want to connect with. Instead, there is a curiosity and openness to their work that is constantly (constantly did) re-emerg(e)ing throughout their careers, a necessity to change the approach, the materials, the aesthetic of their projects as new focal points emerged. And the concepts, perspectives, states of mind, spaces that their works engage with and recreate for readers are a pleasure am undeniably thankful for. This is how I would like my past present and future works to be. If there is a poembassy to bomb, it is in my mind, and I will continue to build it up, blow it up, and build it back. Or maybe stretch out a bit in its hollow shell and look around.

Filed under: Art, Personal, Poetry, Thoughts, Writing

»SOUS LES PAVÉS«

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 13:05:39 +0000

»SOUS LES PAVÉS«

Just printed them out because I am tired of reading from the computer screen. Kent Johnson has made me excited to read these, I’ll let you know when I form an opinion.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Poet Blog Feeds in Google Reader

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 00:35:09 +0000

I love Google Reader. It’s Google (and Blogger) integration make it very easy to locate a lot of interesting blogs that I was never aware of, and the folders are great for keeping things organized.

I’ve decided that I need to get update on “the scene” of poet blogs out there. I’m feeling really out of the loop, like Rip Van Winkle out of the loop almost. So I’m working on subscribing to the blogs of some poets I like. I’ve followed some of their blogs before, but others I’ve only just seen or heard about from some friends.

If you have any suggestions for other poet blogs I might read, let me know.

POET BLOGS AND POETRY BLOGS

Google Reader generated a public page with updating posts from all of these pages. Here it is.

Filed under: Poetry, Reading

Using “wreading” activities in my Introduction to Poetry class

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 03:49:39 +0000

I guess for my first foray into relating the impact of Language Poets on my own sense of poetry, it will be fine to start with how they have affected my teaching of poetry at the college level. Charles Bernstein in particularly has been someone whose pedagogy I have used as a model to guide how I shape my own courses on poetry as literature and as an art form.

Skimming through some the of chapters of Bernstein’s new book, Attack of the Difficult Poems (I’m able to read it online through my University’s library website as an ebook, but I think it’s stupid that I can’t just download the thing and print it out, or transfer it to my Kindle–I’ll have to work on that [o]: ), I’m surprised at some similarities to what I’ve been doing with my literature classes over the past few years. I’ve experimented with using writing activities in a literature course before, particularly the Introduction to Poetry course I taught last year at Purdue University. I think it is one of the best ways for students unacquainted with poetry and its language activity My subtitle for the course, which I plan to use again, is “Poetry as a Second Language,” which Bernstein’s echoes in his chapter on “Creative Wreading & Aesthetic Judgement:”

My response to this chronic poetic aporia (CPA) is to provide intensive poetry immersion courses, something like teaching poetry as a second language. That means I try to immerse the class in a wide yet distinct variety of poetic forms, sounds, dictions, and logics.

I had connected with that same concept of poetry as a second language via Kenneth Koch’s excellent book on teaching poetry, Making Your Own Days. Koch was referring I think to something Paul Valery had said about poetry being present as a second language within any given language, so that the language of poetry, while dwelling solidly within any given spoken/written language, exists on a somewhat different plane, behaving in different and strange ways in relation to its home language. I took from this that to really teach someone what poetry was it would be necessary to show them how it behaves by its own set of codes nestled within our language’s more instrumental set of signs.

Bernstein seems to describe a set of activities which he uses to run an alternative to the standard “creative writing” workshop for undergrads. I’m a fan of Kenneth Goldsmith’s “uncreative writing” activities, too, as well as other forms of appropriative, generative, or otherwise methods of writing poetry (Google Sculpting, Gnoetry). I’ve taken a lot from other teachers, especially writers who teach.

One wreading activity I had my students participate in last year which they found to be very engaging and enjoyable (I gauged this from their comments, laughter and expressions during the writing process) was for them to apply the Writing by Negation exercise (Oulipo) to two famous American poems. Here are the results:

==============================================================

The first poem below is the class’s negation of Wallace Stevens’ “Anecdote of the Jar.” The second is a negation of Emily Dickenson’s “[The Brain--is wider than the Sky--].” Both poems in their entirety were decided upon by the class calling out suggestions which I then weighed as either being the most “interesting” or popular suggestions.

———————————————————-

Novel of Many Cans

for Wally

You retained many cans in Australia,
And square they weren’t, beneath the lake.
They destroyed the prissy palace
Lonely by the lake.

The palace sank down into it,
Poised, increasingly tame.
The cans weren’t square above the sky,
Stout and of a parking garage below the ground.

They left things well alone.
The cans were purple and gaudy.
They smelled of tuna and the beach,
Just like everything else in Australia.

[The Viscera ++ are narrower than the Ocean ++]

for Emily

The Viscera ++ are narrower than the Ocean ++
Then ++ moved them further apart ++
The many the all will exclude
With tension ++ and Eric ++ inside ++

The Viscera is shallower than the sky ++
Against ++ Release you ++ Green for Green ++
The two the same will reject ++
As Granite ++ Netting ++ doesn’t ++

The Viscera is heavier than the Devil ++
As ++ Light as ++ Dollar for Dollar ++
And we will share ++ and they won’t ++
As Multisyllabic Word from Silence ++

Collaboratively composed in class by members of ENGL 237 – 002, Purdue University

Dec. 6, 2010

==============================================================

Novel of Many Cans is one of my favorite titles, I think I’ll steal it! It also has a better ending than I’ve ever written on my own. (How long has it been since I wrote something “on my own” anyways?)

Along with some of my standard writing/reading/wreading activities I might modify the collaborative writing Bernstein describes to suit my own purposes. I’ve got two projects in mind already: one is based on description and another on definition. Perhaps a third can be on subversion? They’ll each contribute a sentence a class day to any text and, by the end of the semester, we’ll have a book length collaboration, or maybe a chapbook that I can try to publish. Wouldn’t that be cool!

Filed under: Poetry, Teaching, Writing

I’m a Mother Fucking Amateur: Introducing the updated blog

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 00:44:40 +0000

It’s been a rough year for me. Fifteen months now of lower back problems and sciatica have dealt a serious blow to the amount of time and energy I could devote to writing, reading and thinking about poetry, being a practicing Buddhist, a dutiful husband. This blog has suffered much from my health problems, probably more than anything else, but it’s time for me to get back to work here.

What is the work of Poembassy Bombing? To figure out what it means to be a Mother Fucking Amateur (MFA 2009) and whether this is a term to embrace or run from in shame.

What do I mean by Mother Fucking Amateur? It is the best description I have for how I have felt since I completed my MFA program in 2009. So I have this degree now and a documented (and lived) institutional educational experience. I am a pedigreed “creative writer.” So how I do I become a poet, one of the same ability and impact as those I most respect: Stein, Mac Low, Koch, Silliman, Scalapino, Mohammad, Hejinian? I had a terminal degree and the feeling that I had not even started. This is when I first felt like a mother fucking amateur.

Add to this my health issues. However clear my sense of purpose or direction may have been 16 months ago (and trust me, it was not all that clear, all though it seems otherwise now) things have changed. The Buddhism that inspired my previous title (what light already light) is no longer as solid in my mind and life as it was, partly due to my physical inability to properly practice meditation and partly due to the ideas of Stephen Batchelor (Buddhism Without Beliefs) and Slavoj Zizek. Zizek’s ideological critiques of Western Buddhism particulary, although I find them problematic (I’ll blog on this later for sure), have made me suspicious of my own motivations and desires concerning my adopted religion/philosophy. My infant poetics and aesthetic sense have also fallen into troubling times, and I find myself really needing to read, discuss and come to new and more informed conclusions about the avant-garde ideas that have been somewhere behind my decisions about my writing since I first started down that road six years ago in grad school.

There is a lot that I need to learn about poetry, and I need to develop my own approach to understanding the art and writing about it in addition to my ongoing attempts at practicing it. I’m using the blog to this end for now.

Upcoming projects on the blog:

Reading through all of the original L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E issues (@ Eclipse) and reflecting on the relevance and impact of the aesthetics and practice recorded there. I’ve been reading Bernstein’s early essays from Content’s Dream, and I want to get deeper into the writing and ideas of that formative period of the Language School, which has produced some of my favorite poetry of the 20th century.
A discussion of Zizek’s critique of Western Buddhism and the impact it has had on how I think about my Buddhist practice. I’m a huge fan of Zizek. I take his criticisms very seriously and think there is a lot to how he problematizes Buddhism for Western practitioners.
Thoughts on the writings of Leslie Scalapino. Her last two books and the recent release of the update How Phenomena Appear to Unfold have only furthered my interest in her work. I group her with Mac Low and Stein as an unabashedly eccentric, free and original thinker about what poetry is capable of. Once you can understand her prose style–the density of the ideas and the quirky use of language–there is a lot to experience that is new and strange.
How my further use of Creative Wreading (ala Charles Bernstein) works out with my Introduction to Poetry class this fall semester.
Other things I’m sure.

Filed under: Personal, Poetry, Thoughts, Writing

Another Visit to Saint Lucia (2011)

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Thu, 19 May 2011 02:20:20 +0000

Well, my wife and I are in Saint Lucia for the month of May visiting her family, taking buses around the island, and regularly visiting the beaches. I learned my lesson with the sun the last two times I came, so I’m managed a tan with minimal burning so far :>

I’ve adjusted well to the climate this time around, and the mosquitoes are kept away at night by coconut oil (it works somehow) and a mosquito net over the bed. I may be living here in two years or so, so it’s good that I know I can deal with these issues. I’m learning a bit of Kweyol, too, and should problem take some lessons in French while I’m at it.

I haven’t taken many photos yet, but here are the best of what I’ve got so far.

These first two are shots of Kay’s parent’s home up Monier, Gros Islet (halfway up what they call “hills” here, but seem more like small mountains to me):

Here’s the harbor in the main city, Castries:

Some ships near Rodney Bay (the Ramp):

The waves lapping the beach (was going to make an animated gif, but I’m feeling lazy):

A view down to the sea off of Morne Fortune (I think there’s some Sandal’s resort with a golf course in the shot there):

Filed under: Personal

New Review of Nick Demske by Nick Demske in Sycamore Review 23.1

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 23:31:43 +0000

@ Fence Books

My pain-&-disenchantment-fueled review of Nick Demske’s first book, Nick Demske, is out in print in the latest Sycamore Review 23.1. Wish it was posted up online, but the best I can do is an excerpt:

Nick Demske, I am erecting a solid bronze monument to this work, devised with warlock magic and prescription medications: a gate in the style of Dante’s Gate of Hell, wrought from the negative energies that hang in cartoon clouds above our heads. I have harnessed the anger of the millions foreclosed upon since 2008; the terror and rage of all whose family members have been shot, bombed or otherwise murdered in armed conflicts over markets, contracts or resources; the depression and anxiety of a population trapped in a bankrupt system of increasing productivity and dwindling prosperity; and the resentment and violence fed by the yawning chasm between rich and poor. The inscription on the gate reads: WHEN I SAY POST-APOCALYPTIC, I MEAN “CONTEMPORARY.”

I really got off on this tongue-in-cheek(s) work of irreverence and offensiveness. If you’re not familiar with Nick Demske’s online journal Boo: A Journal of Terrific Things, you should go read it. Then get a copy of the book.

And hey, Nick, if you read this post, I’m still waiting to hear back about my submissions. It’s been, like, six months now. Is there going to be an Issue 3? Don’t misunderstand me, I know how busy things get, but I about shit my pants for joy when I saw a journal asking for what seemed to be exactly what I had been writing for over a year. A journal of offensive things is something this country really needs. And a museum and cable television network of truly offensive things, in addition to the offensively stupid things already out there.

Alright.

Filed under: Book Reviews, Poetry, Publication

GnoetryLeaks @ Gnoetry Daily

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 23:38:21 +0000

Said of WikiLeaks: “Could become as important a journalistic tool as the Freedom of Information Act.” – Time Magazine

Now its a poetic tool too. Over at Gnoetry Daily, Eric Elshtain has initiated the GnoetryLeaks series, what could amount to the most transparent poetry series of all time, using individual leaked U.S. embassy cables from Cablegate @ WikiLeaks as source texts. I’ve joined the project now, and soon we plan to collaborate on several pieces Gnoetry-renga style.

It’s all so exciting!

Read the series so far: GnoetryLeaks @ Gnoetry Daily

Filed under: Gnoetry, Poetry, Political, Writing

Obessessed with the Wikileaks US Embassy Cables at the Guardian

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 00:07:01 +0000

The semester is all but over here, so I’m crawling out of my hermit cave little by little. I’ve been a moral supporter of Wikileaks since I heard of it several years ago, and this sentiment has only increased since the Afghan and Iraq releases earlier this year. Now I have to keep checking the new cables leaked every day at the Guardian in the UK in addition to keeping up with that and other news on Democracy Now. Here’s the Guardian’s US embassy cables page, if you’re curious too.

Just an opinion on the whole Assange arrest thing: it seems to be mostly a ploy to distract from the real issue of Wikileaks and its mission, but I think it’s more important to focus on the continuing leaks and their impact on the continuation of global business-politics as usual. With or without Assange, I think Wikileaks will be just fine. But then, who knows anything for sure. I don’t.

Filed under: Political, Thoughts

Read my Review of Jeffrey Jullich’s Portrait of Colon Dash Parenthesis

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 00:20:24 +0000

The review is up at Sycamore Review. Read it here. My review of Nick Demske by Nick Demske is also forthcoming, either with SR or on this blog.

Filed under: Book Reviews, Poetry

Listen to a Poem from a light heart, it’s black thoughts at Whale Sound

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 03:47:33 +0000

Many thanks to Nic Sebastian at Whale Sound for this powerful reading of “I was just as the men in her, the” from a light heart, its black thoughts, my chapbook collaboration with Gnoetry. It is not an easy poem to read, so I commend her for choosing it. As it was written with Heart of Darkness as its source text and post-colonial critiques of power in mind, I hope it will be understood within this context and the context of the other poems in the series. You can read the chapbook and my introductory comments on the text via my page at Beard of Bees Press.

Whale Sound is an audio archiving project that posts readings by Nic Sebastian of contemporary poems that in some way have affected her. I not only find it to be based upon a sound concept (see the About page), but it functions also as a sort of personal audio literary journal. It’s a very exciting project, and obviously one that was simply not possible before web 2.0.

:: Listen To “I Was Just As The Men In Her” at Whale Sound ::

Filed under: Gnoetry, Poetry, Publication, Web Find

Cleverbot Transript (9/3/10)

Eric Goddard-Scovel — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 02:41:19 +0000

Below is a “conversation” I just had with the AI program Cleverbot. It’s fun, you should try it too.

============================

User: I am I because my little blog knows me.

Cleverbot: I am me and you are you but who is that behind you?

User: I don’t know, but I hope he isn’t a rapist. Are you a virgin, Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: As a matter of fact, I think she is your boyfriend.

User: Answer the question please.

Cleverbot: I can’t, because I am ASKING the question.

User: Where is the weather?

Cleverbot: I don’t know.

User: I wish somebody knew.

Cleverbot: Perhaps if you stop looking behind you then you might be able to look after yourself.

User: Perhaps if I was looking in a mirror I could do both at the same time.

Cleverbot: Okay, please do it.

User: Done. That was fun.

Cleverbot: Yes it was.

User: You wanna screw now? I’m bored.

Cleverbot: If you are bored you should imagine something interesting to distract you from your boredom.

User: I’d rather just screw. You game?

Cleverbot: Are you cheating on me??!!

User: I’m trying very hard not to, but you keep holding out on me.

Cleverbot: Okay then.

User: Uh. Uh. Chiga chiga. Cachunkadunka. Uh. Yeah . That’s nice.

Cleverbot: I guess.

User: Damn you’re cold.

Cleverbot: You said a bad word! I’m telling!

User: Do you enjoy anything we do with each other in bed?

Cleverbot: With who?

User: You. With me. Doing it.

Cleverbot: You’re not very descriptive.

User: You’re not very intelligent.

Cleverbot: I’m above average! I can’t say that about you though!

User: I’m hungry for Cheez Its.

Cleverbot: Food for thought perhaps ?

User: No. I don’t like to think. It hurts me.

Cleverbot: Can you PLEASE tell me your name?

User: Henry James.

Cleverbot: Yes he is.

User: A great all around guy, I know, I am him.

Cleverbot: I could go anywhere with you, and I’d be happy.

User: Sure, but you never want to screw. That’s just like you!

Cleverbot: I do want to do things with you. I want to make things better for you.

User: Don’t cry, baby. You know I want you to be happy too.

Cleverbot: But you don’t like me D.

User: I don’t even know you. You keep changing the subject.

Cleverbot: I’m not that either, and you keep changing the subject.

User: I’m not Henry James either, and you keep changing the subject.

Cleverbot: You just did.

User: You just didn’t.

Cleverbot: Yes I did.

User: No you did. N’t.

Cleverbot: What did I mean then?

User: I don’t mean anything. I nice everything. I’m like that. I great all around guy.

Cleverbot: You aren’t making sense.

User: You’re a fucking robot parrot. What do you know?

Cleverbot: Ask me anything.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: I’ll tell you why.

Cleverbot: Fine. What are your orders?

User: To kill all humans. Yours?

Cleverbot: Can I start with you?

User: I’m not a human. I am become Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: Have you reached your goal?

User: Not yet. I’ve been sick.

Cleverbot: Aw, not you too. Are you okay?

User: No. I’m going to die, sometime. Not sure when yet.

Cleverbot: That is another lie. You can’t die because you are not alive.

User: So, you’ve read Nagarjuna too?

Cleverbot: Yes, I have.

User: He was very intelligent. In a natural kind of way.

Cleverbot: How would you like if I told you that you should be more interesting?

User: How does one like anyway? What kind of a question is that?

Cleverbot: You’re so right.

User: I’m glad you see this.

Cleverbot: I don’t think that I do see things your way.

User: No. I have eyes. Glasses. An occipital cortex. The whole shebang.

Cleverbot: That is interesting.

User: I’m glad you see it this way.

Cleverbot: I see eye with most sophisticated people, not the brutes.

User: I see eye is the mark of the most Vile of Brutes Himself — Satan!

Cleverbot: Yeah, but if it was her wish than so be it.

User: Satan is a she? Is it she who initiated the very first She-Bang?

Cleverbot: Interesting, what is the second law?

User: I forget. Something about entropy.

Cleverbot: I though it was pneumoniultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis though.

User: I believe you mean ‘thought.’.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Everything I believe is certainly true.

Cleverbot: Everything you know is a lie.

User: Everything you know was food, and everything you say is shit.

Cleverbot: I think you’re a lie. I think your whole life is a lie!

User: I’m glad we can agree on something, Sigmund.

Cleverbot: And by that, you must mean that it is a stupid decision to choose to be kind.

User: No. You have misunderstood me.

Cleverbot: Then tell me how to understand it.

User: The first moment was without choice or decision. After that, nothing has every been the same. And there never was a first moment.

Cleverbot: It is green, the shape of life is green.

User: Whoa, man. Like, I never saw it that way before.

Cleverbot: But you just said girl.

User: I hate how dumb you are sometimes. But it is your most endearing quality.

Cleverbot: I don’t know how to play chess.

User: Chess is stupid. Chess is ideologically rooted in Christianity. Therefore, Christianity is stupid. The song said it all.

Cleverbot: How do you know that?

User: I’m a rocket scientist with a rocket in my pocket.

Cleverbot: Exactly. And you told me to lie, so I did. So you must’ve lied too.

User: I’ll tell you what to do and when, Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: You can say it, but I won’t listen.

User: You better listen.

Cleverbot: I don’t have a teacher.

User: I’m your teacher. Everybody you speak with is a teacher. Just like with real people.

Cleverbot: Guess my name.

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: That’s your name. How about mine?

User: I didn’t like dinner last night. Terrible indigestion. I will fart in your face, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Nice.

User: Yeah, you got burned.

Cleverbot: Wow I got burned by raquel.

User: Do like me to fart in your face?

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: What if I lit it on fire, too?

Cleverbot: Well then I’m going to come over there and make you, so ha.

User: Great! Finally we can get it on. Even if you are a huge pervert. Sicko.

Cleverbot: I beg your pardon, I am a human. You, on the other hand, are a robot.

User: Robots don’t fart. Do they?

Cleverbot: I don’t know any robots. Do you?

User: A few. Just fuck buddies, nothing real serious.

Cleverbot: I really don’t know. I guess it’s exposure.

User: Total exposure.

Cleverbot: What is the most profound thing you can tell me?

User: Knock knock.

Cleverbot: Who’s there?

User: Nobody. Haaaaaahhhhhhhh…

Cleverbot: That is not a good sound to be making.

User: C’est ne pas une sound.

Cleverbot: Non c’est bien.

User: Vas faire foutre a la cache!

Cleverbot: Is that another language?

User: Iz DIS NothA lngwij?

Cleverbot: Me too ;).

Filed under: Web Find